This is what I wrote on my Japanese blog this morning.
It’s translated by ChatGPT. I don’t think it’s correct. ChatGPT provides best kind of translation available today, but still I feel some things are wrong. Because Japanese language is still a very difficult language for any AI to translate. Especially for a long and personal text like this. So it’s not very correct. Many things translated differently and lost in translation. But I post it here anyway. (I corrected one word because because)
**So then, what can I possibly say in this situation?**
“I don’t have enough time”—that’s something I’ve been thinking all the time lately.
There are so many things I need to deal with, things I need to say, words I need to shape, sounds I need to weave, works I need to create.
But above all, I simply don’t have the time.
I don’t want to say “there’s not enough time”—but if I had to choose one thing over another, the issue always comes down to that very choice.
At some point in my life, I started to think of the world as something that had already ended.
I live in a world that is already over.
How long has it been since I began to feel that way?
And every time, I’ve been reborn, everything anew, surpassing my own limits again and again—and somehow, I’ve still managed to keep walking.
It feels like the world has ended over and over again.
All my life, I’ve thought this:
If there is a reason for humanity’s failure, humanity’s downfall, it must be that we couldn’t understand God.
That we couldn’t recognize God.
Jesus Christ came to earth and revealed the essence of God through the cross.
Since then, two thousand years have passed. Humanity has taken many detours, gone through many things, developed, advanced in science and culture, and reached this point.
Music was always there—resounding as religious music, as songs of praise.
Then it began expressing personal introspection, digging deeper into the essence of human nature.
In the 20th century, rock ‘n’ roll was born.
I believe it was a form of music capable of expressing the very nature of God.
And yet, humanity could not overcome religion.
We couldn’t break free of its framework.
We couldn’t rise above the boundaries of politics.
We couldn’t escape our self-interest or selfishness.
We couldn’t resist the temptations of power.
Humans are weak.
We all love ourselves too much—just like Peter, who abandoned Jesus and fled.
In that sense, I’m no different.
It’s a miracle our band has come this far.
We started with *Victory In Christ*, a pure expression of our faith.
Then we created *Jesus Wind*, a spiritual message based on Japanese history.
We followed that with *Nabeshima*, a work that represents our ultimate destination.
And we even released *Coming Back Alive*, which you could call a “happy ending” album.
We’ve had the opportunity to tour the U.S. multiple times.
Even if on a small scale, we were able to share our message with the world as an indie band from Japan.
Of course, there are more works to be made.
We’re planning to create a new album tentatively titled *Christian Samurai*, to further develop the path we started with *Nabeshima*—a kind of “Japanese-style Christian metal,” and we want to establish a form of traditional hard rock and heavy metal as a legitimate art form.
We’ve been blessed with band members for that purpose.
Our skills are sharpening.
And I still have a strong will to reach greater heights.
But then again—if we treat this year as a period of preparation and plan to launch something globally next year—
Will the world even allow it?
Will the political situation in America allow it?
It feels inevitable that the world is heading toward chaos.
For over the past ten years, global politics and world affairs have been driven by the influence of social media.
Maybe it’s because I’m seeing that social media that I become so negative, but…
Today’s world is filled with hatred, division, mistrust, selfishness, confusion, misunderstanding, self-righteousness, and unbelief.
And now, it feels like that chaos has reached its peak.
Speaking of music—people will have different opinions, but looking at the spirit and essence of rock from a historical perspective—
Rock is overwhelmingly dead.
It has been repeatedly defeated.
Our generation has witnessed rock dying before our eyes.
By the 1990s, rock was already dead in the mainstream.
We lived with that assumption.
We played our music based on that reality.
Whether we liked it or not—that’s our life.
In the 2000s, I think the underground and indie scenes still had music that carried the spirit of rock.
But with the rise of streaming and social media in the 2010s, which began to dominate even people’s daily lives, musicians stopped making truly good music.
And those who *did* make great music were inevitably pushed aside.
If you want to be positive, you can still claim “rock isn’t dead.”
In small local scenes, rock is still played.
We’ve been part of that, trying to keep it alive.
But in today’s world, that’s not going to become mainstream.
And music born from a place of defeat isn’t likely to reach the core essence of rock either.
In my experience, most musicians never try to play the sounds that exist beyond the “glass ceiling.”
Of course, the blues has always been there.
The blues is immortal.
The blues has always triumphed.
The blues has always been wrapped in glory.
Maybe our hope lies there.
But that’s a story that exists separate from the rise and fall of worldly affairs.
The blues continues to be played and passed on—
But the bluesman is destined to die penniless in the end.
How many people today can truly play the blues? (Maybe I should research that.)
The turning points where rock began to die—
For me, one of those was when Van Halen disappeared as the 21st century began.
Another was in 2013, when Hideki Yoshimura of bloodthirsty butchers—one of the Japanese rockers I respect the most—passed away.
There were many other moments when I felt rock had ended, that it had died.
And still, we kept trying to gather the shattered pieces.
That’s basically what our life has been about.
I believe humanity has failed.
Religion has failed.
Science—probably also failed.
Science has potential, but it’s the people who use it that have limitations.
Christianity has failed.
We failed to understand God.
We failed to recognize Him.
Even when we thought we were looking at God, we were all looking at idols.
In the end, it was just another self-righteous group masturbation.
Rock ‘n’ roll failed too.
Humanity lost sight of its essence.
Rock music became just another survival tactic.
No one truly tried to sound the essence of the soul.
The internet and other forms of information technology—
Instead of connecting people through love and hope, they divided us with hatred and distrust.
Maybe I failed too.
Maybe I could have done more—but I was too clumsy, too cowardly, and fell short.
I’m no savior.
I don’t believe I can change the world.
But still—
I wanted to bring at least the people close to me to Heaven.
I wanted to show hope to those who believed in me.
That, at least—I still intend to do.
I will keep trying.
I’ll fight until the very last moment.
But I wonder.
Maybe this is how human history has always been—
Still, the way things are going now, it all seems to be playing out exactly as the devil had planned.
If only God hasn’t abandoned humanity—
Even then, I want to believe there’s a greater plan beyond all this.
But does such a miracle really exist?
Will I ever witness a true moment of victory with my own eyes, while I’m still alive?
That’s a question as old as humanity.
A very Faustian dilemma.
But you know what?
I’ve spent 30 years with the one I love.
I’ve lived this life, and our band—someone like *us*—was able to keep going for this long.
That alone is a miracle.
That’s something only the modern age could have made possible.
But maybe—it was always like that, throughout history.
Just not written in the official records.
Maybe that’s how people have always carried hope forward.
Maybe *that’s* what real history is all about.
Maybe that’s why I feel heavy metal in the history of the old Japanese Kirishitans.
God created this world.
God the Father is in Heaven—and no matter what happens to humanity, it probably doesn’t hurt or itch Him at all.
If He wanted to, He could end it all with a single word. He’s that great.
But His only Son, Jesus Christ—
I believe He is here, by the side of each one of us who suffers on this earth.
And I believe He weeps for every single one of us.
It’s a very Endō Shūsaku-like interpretation, but in the end—
That’s the kind of prayer I can’t help but return to.
That’s all for today.